Life with two kids under two is no joke. It’s a whirlwind of diapers, sleepless nights, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of chaos. But in the midst of it all, there’s a pivotal shift that every dad in this situation will feel in their bones: the realization that your role is no longer just a supporting act. With two little ones, you’re not just helping out anymore—you’re stepping into a starring role, especially when it comes to your oldest child.
If your oldest is anything like mine, they’re still deeply attached to Mom. Bedtime is filled with sweet requests for “Momma,” and you’ll see the little flicker of disappointment when it’s you instead. That’s not a dig—it’s just reality. Mom is the MVP of comfort, familiarity, and routine, and your oldest knows it. But here’s the thing: they need you, too. In fact, they need you more now than ever before.
When baby number two arrives, Mom is pulled in a million directions—feeding, soothing, and juggling the demands of a newborn. That’s where you come in. Dinner, bath time, bedtime… these aren’t just tasks on a to-do list anymore. They’re your moments to step up and deepen your bond with your oldest. It’s your time to be the MC of the bedtime routine, the maestro of dinner, and the rock-solid dad they can lean on.
I’ll admit, it’s not always easy. Sitting in the recliner in my daughter’s room, I’ve had moments of doubt. She’s asking for Mom, and I know I’m just the backup. But here’s what I’ve learned: being functional is fine for now, as long as I show up, consistently, and with heart. Every silly bedtime song I sing and dance to, and every time I give out the British chocolate (we really should spend time talking about how much better it is) builds trust and connection. It’s not about replacing Mom’s role—it’s about complementing it, about proving to your child that you’re in this, 100%, for the long haul.
At first, you might just be the guy who hands her the mulitple Elmos she insists on sleeping with, but before you know it, she’s reaching for your hand to head upstairs at bedtime. That’s the magic of consistency, of showing up even when it’s hard.
So, dads, if you’re knee-deep in the trenches of two under two, remember this: your family needs you to step up, not just as a partner to your spouse, but as a leader for your kids. Embrace the role. Be the one who nails the bedtime routine. Be the dad who makes bath time an adventure. Be the guy who gets it right because you’re learning, growing, and loving your kids the way they deserve.
Sure, Mom may still be the preferred parent (and let’s face it, she’s earned it). But with time, effort, and love, you’re carving out your own place in your child’s heart. It’s not a competition—it’s a partnership. And if you do it right, you’ll look back on these moments as the foundation of a bond that will last a lifetime.
So, to all the dads stepping into the spotlight with two under two: you’ve got this. Now, it’s time to play that Danny Go song about gingerbread cookies and dance.
